There’s something almost old-school and mysterious about walking into a bar alone. These days, a lot of guys wouldn’t dream of doing it. They’d rather wait until their friends are free or skip it altogether because they feel awkward and out of place showing up solo, but going to a bar alone is actually one of the most underrated things you can do for yourself as a man. Not just for the confidence boost, but for what it teaches you about your presence, your mindset, and how to own your space without needing backup. In this video, I’ll let you in on how to go to a bar alone, actually enjoy the solo visit, and make the most of it, so you don’t end up glued to your phone the whole time.
First off, you stand to gain a lot by going to a bar alone. For starters, it makes you more approachable. Because you’re not in a group or distracted by conversations with friends, other people feel more comfortable striking up a chat, whether it’s someone next to you at the bar, a bartender with a story to tell, or someone who notices the book you’re reading or the drink you ordered. You suddenly become a magnet for a conversation, and that randomness can make your night way more exciting than if you went with someone. You might end up talking to someone who’s lived a completely different life than you, or you find yourself deep in conversation about something random like jazz music or ghost stories.
You might even get to overhear a local recommendation that leads you to a hidden gem down the street. You get the chance to explore new neighborhoods, try different bars, and make decisions in real-time without having to check in with anyone. If you’ve just moved to a new city, solo bar visits can be a total game changer. It’s a simple way to ease into the local scene and feel less like a stranger. Sitting at the bar, you’ll quickly learn what places have regulars, which bars host trivia nights, and where you can find your kind of crowd. Plus, bartenders are often the best unofficial tour guides. They know the vibe of the area and can help you feel welcome. With these benefits in mind, let’s talk about how to find the right bar.
If you’re the kind of guy who doesn’t love loud music, big crowds, or sticky tables, then forcing yourself into a packed college dive bar just to “be social” will most probably make you hate the experience. The first key to finding the right bar is being honest with yourself. Personally, I always lean toward quieter, upscale bars that take their cocktails seriously. There’s something about walking into a bar where the lighting is low, the music isn’t overpowering, and people actually put effort into how they dress. It gives the whole night a more intentional feel. When you go to a spot like that, it’s easier to hold a conversation without needing to raise your voice.
These kinds of places usually attract a more mature crowd too; not necessarily older, but more grounded. You won’t find as many people there just looking to get hammered or take shots all night. People tend to go to bars like this for the vibe, the drinks, and the somewhat calm atmosphere. That creates the perfect setting for conversations and even making solid new connections. If you’re new in town or just trying to build your confidence socially, this type of bar also helps you skip a lot of the chaos. I recommend checking out speakeasy-style bars if that sounds like your scene. They’re usually a little hidden, sometimes in an unmarked building or behind another business.
If you enjoy a more relaxed, classy vibe, smoking bars can be a great option too, especially cigar lounges or whiskey bars where smoking is still part of the culture. These places usually have comfortable seating, dim lights, and an old-school kind of charm. You can sit with a drink, have a cigar if that’s your thing, and enjoy the calm energy. If you’ve considered these but you’re still not sure which bar to pick, then I suggest searching reviews or scanning bar photos on Google or Instagram. Pay attention to how people describe the place. If the words “chill,” “craft cocktails,” “cozy,” or “conversation-friendly” come up often, it might be the right spot. If you see a lot of people in tank tops doing body shots, that’s a whole different scene. One thing most people don’t consider is when to go on a solo bar visit.
I highly suggest choosing a weeknight or sometime earlier in the evening during the week. Fridays and Saturdays can turn even the most elegant bar into something way busier, but on a Monday or Tuesday night, you’re more likely to meet a relaxed crowd. You certainly won’t feel rushed to leave or squeezed between people at the bar. You can settle in, enjoy the ambiance, and see what kind of connections happen naturally. Besides choosing the right time, you also need to choose the right outfit. Since you’re going to a bar alone, you can throw on something that fits well, feels good, and looks great, like a crisp shirt, dark jeans or chinos, clean shoes, and a nice jacket if it’s cool out. Avoid anything too loud or sloppy, and aim for casual and classy. Now that you’ve chosen the bar to go to, the day, and your outfit, the next thing to decide is where to sit.
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is heading straight for a corner seat. It might feel safer or more private, but it shuts you off from the rest of the room and makes it harder for anyone to strike up a conversation with you. The sweet spot is usually somewhere near the center of the bar, where you’re in the heart of the action and can easily catch the bartender’s attention or chat with folks on either side. It gives you a full view of what’s going on and makes it easier to notice someone who might be open to conversation. Another subtle but smart move is to leave a one-seat gap between you and the next person, especially if the bar isn’t packed. That little bit of space can make you seem approachable without being intrusive, and it gives someone the option to bridge the gap if they’re feeling social. Next, here’s how to start a conversation.
Starting conversations at a bar when you’re by yourself might feel a little awkward at first, but it really just comes down to being open and present. One of the easiest ways to seem approachable is to simply stay off your phone. When you’re glued to a screen, people assume you’re busy or don’t want to be bothered, but when you’re just sitting with a drink, looking around, and engaging with your surroundings, it gives the impression that you’re open to chatting. Bartenders are great people to talk to because they usually have good energy and know the vibe of the place better than anyone else. A simple “What’s good here?” or “What do you usually recommend?” is a smooth way to start a conversation without forcing it. Plus, it gives them a chance to share a little about the bar, which can naturally lead to more small talk. If someone next to you catches your eye, you can also break the ice by commenting on something in the bar like the music, a drink they ordered, or even a piece of art on the wall. It doesn’t have to be witty or deep, just real. People pick up on genuine curiosity, and that’s what gets conversations flowing.
To get the most out of your solo bar visits, consider becoming a regular at the bar. It slowly stops feeling like just another spot and starts becoming more like your place. The staff begins to recognize you, remember your usual drink, or give you a warmer welcome when you walk in, and that little bit of familiarity makes a big difference. You’ll start to notice other regulars too, and those small nods and short chats can turn into full conversations and new friendships, so if you’re thinking about trying this, I say go for it. Go out alone, be open, and see what happens, and if you do, I would love to know your experience in the comments.
